B is for Broom Closet

Pagan Blog Project - Week 4 - B is for Broom Closet

                I was in the twelfth grade when I first discovered Wicca and actually realized that Witchcraft was a real thing and not just a fantasy found in the tragic stories of history books or in the Sci-fi section of the local Barnes and Noble. I was immature to say the least. The idea of hiding my new found religious and spiritual beliefs was never a consideration. I flaunted them, proudly displaying my pentacle outside my shirt and chatting to everyone I knew about it. The immaturity also extended to my immediate and loud distaste of all things Christian, but we will leave that for another topic. I’m not proud to say that my behavior was nothing short of obnoxious. But hey, you know what they say – you live, you learn…hopefully.

                In the thirteen years since, I've learned a few things. There is nothing wrong with “coming out of the broom closet”, but it is well advised to do so gently, and with a grace. I don’t feel that people should hide their beliefs. You should be proud of what you are. However, there are some situations in which it is best to just keep your mouth shut.

                Unveiling before the family and friends can be a tricky subject. There are some of us that have very opinionated family members, those that might be so worried about our unsaved souls that they forget their own values and disown the offender. My own father, while not as fanatical as some, is nonetheless rather disturbed by my beliefs. I didn't speak of my pagan ideals for a long time, and will never admit to him that I practice witchcraft. However, I do NOT hide my altar when he comes around, or rearrange my household, which is speckled with witchy paraphernalia including a lot of witch statuary. After I revealed that I was a pagan, he went into what I call “preacher mode” on several occasions. We eventually agreed to disagree, or maybe he’s just given up. We remain close and I even share some of my activities with him, though I refer to them in a gentle manner, speaking of things like meditation and “spiritual group meetings”. He doesn't seem to mind and I feel that perhaps he’s begun to realize that my connection with God is no less valid than this his. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

                My mother, on the other hand, was an entirely different story. As a teenager at the time of my shift, I simply handed her a copy of Mama Silver’s Teen Witch and gave her a few moments to read the introduction. While I don’t remember her initial response, she told me at some point that her grandmother used to call herself a “white witch” and often got drunk on the weekends and levitated the coffee table while singing old Irish folk songs. My mum is one of those people that seems to have no religious beliefs, and yet allows me to do spell work for her and has even asked me to a bike blessing for her motorcycle. My mum is pretty damn cool.

                For those of us who are not blessed with an open-minded family or group of friends, it may be best to exit the broom closet very slowly, and in some instances, not at all. You should probably tuck away any jewelry that might be found offensive, pentacles tend to raise alarm bells, and refrain from chatting about your spirit guides at the dinner table. Actually, it’s probably a good idea to keep the spirit guides away from the dinner table indefinitely.

                First and foremost, you should make sure that you are able to answer any questions that will come your way. There will more than likely be many. Begin by feeling out the situation and trying to gauge how a specific person would react to the information. Start a casual conversation to find out how much s/he knows about the subject. “I know this chic from work…” or “I met an interesting guy on the bus today…” Not only does this allow you to gauge a response, it might also allow you the chance to correct misinformation. Argue the merits of the idea before s/he has the chance to oppose you.

When you are ready to actually throw open the door, start small. Push the little things from the closet first. If you like to light candles and incense, do it in their presence, but keep your spells and prayers in your head. Wear your crystals or other jewelry of a less obvious nature. If you want to start dropping conversational bombs, meditation and affirmations are great subjects. Both practices are used by a variety of people, including those who are not religious, and information on these subjects can be acquired from places where our close-minded relations can feel safe. Displaying ancestral altars is another idea. While it’s true that some people would not be comfortable with the idea, most seem to have no problem with honoring loved ones who have passed on.

Your work situation can also be an issue. I wear my jewelry without fear and upper management knows of my beliefs because of a conflict in scheduling on Sabbat celebrations. I follow a simple rule when it comes to my co-workers. I do not talk about my religious and spiritual beliefs unless specifically asked. And people will ask. Just the other day I was approached by a coworker who asked if I “read my bible”. I told him that I did not. “Why not?” he inquired. “Because I’m not Christian,” I responded. I told him that I was pagan and when he asked me what that was, I told him it was even older than Christianity and left it at that. He took it pretty well and continues to chat with me on a daily basis.

“But how do you network if you don’t put yourself out there?” you ask. Be patient. Network through the internet and look for local stores and social gatherings that pertain to your beliefs. They are out there. Farmers markets, green grocers, bookstores, and metaphysical shops are great places to find like-minded people in your local area. Witchvox, the Pagan Blog Project, and countless forums are a good outlet for conversation when you feel as if you can no longer hold it all inside.

                Even if you take your time when exiting the broom closet, you are likely to find others in hiding. Simple conversation recently unveiled a like-minded individual at work. We began with topics about nature and animals. He came to me one day with an amethyst and asked if I knew what it was. A few days later, he brought me a handful of other semi-precious stones that he’d dug out of the ground near his home. I told him that I knew people who could probably identify them for him, and if they couldn't  I could take them to a shop that could. He eventually inquired about astral travel.

                The point is, take your time. If you are worried about the reactions of those around you, crack the door and take a peek outside before slowly exiting the closet. Remember to take into account who you are coming out to and how that person will react. Gage the situation, and be gentle. Ask your gods and guides for help and don’t forget to use common sense. Good luck and Goddess Bless!